How do you define emotional infidelity? For some, it may be the trail of flirtatious comments left on another person’s social media page, or it could be those afterhours drinks with a person your partner perceives as a threat.
Infidelity doesn’t have to be physical to have a major impact on you and your relationship.
Emotional infidelity involves a nonsexual relationship with someone who isn’t your partner. Without this being the intention, it can break trust or violate the love and respect that you have for your partner.
In this time of texting, swiping and instant communication, it has never been easier to cross the line and become emotionally connected to someone outside of your primary relationship.
There are some indicators when this is happening and some helpful tips to help get your relationship back on track.
Protecting Your Relationship: Identifying High-Risk External Relationships
If you and your partner are in a (monogamous relationship){ to the conventional idea of a monogamous relationship,} the impacts of infidelity on it can be significant if nothing is done to start you both talking about what is happening
It is important for both people in the relationship to recognise there can be “high risk” external friendships and to both agree on protecting their relationship by recognising these potentially harmful friendships.
- My partner is “just friends” with several single people of the gender she/he is attracted to . This may be a sign that your partner values one-on-one connections, however protecting your relationship means making single friends of the gender you are attracted to, friends of the both of you.
- My partner keeps talking about “this person” at work. This could be the sign of a close or important work colleague. However, it could also be a high-risk friendship. Talk to your partner about the person, what you talk about, frequency of your conversations etc. Again to protect your relationship, this friendship can become one of the couples OR the friendship is restricted to work only with reduced 1 to 1 contact and sticks to work related topics.
- My partner is spending more time with “your sibling”. As above, talk to your partner about your concerns, and both work towards protecting your relationship.
Sometimes it is healthy to have relationships at work or with each other’s siblings. Importantly if you notice changes in your partner’s behaviour, it could be the cause for alarm.
Rebuilding Trust After Emotional Infidelity
Infidelity in a relationship can cause an implosion, both partners are affected in different ways and the high risk friendship can suddenly ended. At Perth Counselling and Psychotherapy, we know rebuilding trust in a relationship with out good professional help is very difficult.
There are different phases to couples therapy when there has been any type of infideility that has resulted in a relationship rupture and lack of trust.
- communicating issues and personal feelings with each other can be difficult and requires a neutral third party to help
- understanding each other’s emotions and offering support is critical, yet really hard to do when you are emotionally distressed
- learning how to engage in healthy conflict for the future and getting help with the crisis you are now in can help with the repair and trust building
- respecting each other’s time and emotions as you both navigate your way through this really emotionally charged time.
It is important to give the relationship the attention and time it requires to repair the rupture and rebuild a stronger relationship or to separate respectfully.
Get Professional Help
The Perth Counselling & Psychotherapy team is here to listen to your concerns about emotional infidelity in your relationship.
Deborah is experienced inworking in this area and is ready to help you work through this difficult time.
We also offer couples counselling and therapy after infidelity, which helps to place trust back into your relationship.
If you are seeking help, contact us today.
