Perth Counselling and Psychotherapy

Born in the late fifties in western Sydney I have had an interesting life. This of course is a euphemism for whatever you want it to be. Relationships, travel, career, family and a daughter (whom I will always worry about) all add depth and purpose to my life. A woman who feels she has achieved some good things in her lifetime, helped people and is always keen to learn and experience new things, is not to taken too lightly. Perhaps a bit too full bodied these days, like a good red, not as mellow, but with a fruity and enjoyable after taste.....maybe not that bad after all!!

The Benefits of Working Towards Emotional Growth

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psychologist-and-patient

Working towards your own emotional growth will help you regulate your emotions, communicate more effectively, and change behaviours that are holding you back.

It is impossible to be perfect or know everything about yourself in order to be happy or successful, however, learning to understand your feelings and emotions and why they are triggered is an important part of emotional intelligence.

It is also important to understand the difference between situational emotions and core emotions. Situational emotions will come and go depending on what happens in your life, but core emotions are part of who you are at your very core.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing journey of self-discovery, identifying strengths and weaknesses and working towards enhancing your abilities throughout your life.

Emotionally intelligent individuals typically possess these characteristics:

  • Self-awareness
  • Empathy
  • Situational awareness
  • Strong interpersonal skills
  • Self-motivation
  • Receptiveness
  • Integrity

Reflection and Emotional Growth

One of the most important parts of working towards your own emotional growth is understanding why you do what you do. This can be done through a process called “reflection”, where you think about your feelings, actions and thoughts in order to gain more insight into yourself.

While it may not be always easy to talk about your feelings, you may find it easier to talk about someone else’s feelings. If you’re having trouble talking about your own emotions, or have trouble identifying what you are feeling, that can be a sign that you could benefit from some personal counselling.

If you can identify your feelings, writing them down can be a highly effective way to start processing them. By putting your thoughts and emotions on paper, you give them a voice and allow yourself to confront them more directly.

When doing this kind of reflection, it’s important to ask yourself questions like:

  • What are the consequences of my behaviour?
  • How can I change it?
  • Is there anything that could help me change my environment so that it supports my desired behaviour change?

Mistakes Teach Us Lessons

Learning from our mistakes is a crucial part of our emotional growth. Mistakes are opportunities to learn something about ourselves, but if you don’t acknowledge them as mistakes and learn from them, then they become failures.

A failure is when you don’t acknowledge the mistake and just keep repeating it over and over again until it becomes ingrained in who you are as a person. It’s no longer just a situation that happened once, it becomes a pattern.

That’s why it’s so important to learn how to forgive yourself when things go wrong because sometimes we make mistakes without meaning to; sometimes there were extenuating circumstances beyond our control; sometimes our intentions were good even though the outcome was not.

Addressing what went wrong, without assigning blame, allows us to break patterns and grow from the experience, so the next time something doesn’t go our way, we have experience in how to deal with the situation.

Gestalt Theory and Mindfulness

Gestalt theory and mindfulness are two practices that can be applied to emotional growth. Gestalt theory emphasises the importance of being present in the moment and taking responsibility for one’s actions, thoughts, and feelings.

Mindfulness practices can help us become more aware of our emotions, thoughts, and sensations, and learn how to regulate them. By applying Gestalt theory and mindfulness, we can increase self-awareness, self-acceptance, and develop healthy relationships.

By incorporating these practices into our daily lives, we can experience emotional growth and live more fulfilling lives.

Small Steps

Emotional growth is not an easy task, and it certainly won’t happen overnight.

If you’re struggling with a particular emotion, like anger or sadness, try to identify why this is happening in the first place. Maybe there was something that happened at work or school today that made you feel this way. Maybe it’s something more personal like feeling lonely.

Once we understand what triggers our emotions (and how those triggers affect us), we can take steps towards managing them better by either avoiding certain situations altogether or learning how best to deal with them when they arise.

Seeking Help is a Great Start

Seeking help is a sign that you are ready to embrace your own emotional growth.

It is important and highly recommended to speak with an experienced psychotherapist such as Deborah from Perth Psychology and Psychotherapy, to better assist you in developing techniques to improve your emotional intelligence and regulate your emotions and feelings in a healthy, productive way.

Rebuilding Trust when Trust has Been Broken

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lady-phone

Have you experienced a loss of trust in your relationship? Trust is a crucial part of any successful partnership and its loss can be devastating. However, there are ways for couples to work together to rebuild trust

Why is Trust Important in a Relationship?

Many mental health specialists who work with couples agree that trust is the most important thing in a romantic relationship. Trust is more than just feeling that your partner is faithful to you; it is about the ability to rely on each other, to feel safe with each other, and to know that your partner has your back in difficult times.

There are many important benefits to building and maintaining trust in your relationship. It creates a strong foundation of closeness which allows you to provide your partner with comfort and care during life’s challenges. It is a crucial element of reducing and navigating conflict, allowing you and your partner to work together to find solutions to any problems you might be having. Trust promotes positivity in a relationship, allowing you to give your partner the benefit of the doubt and to believe in them even when they make a mistake.

The Five Types of Trust

There are five key types of trust within a romantic partnership which are important to maintain for a healthy relationship.

Truthfulness

In all our relationships, we value honesty and the ability to those close to us to tell us the truth. In a romantic relationship, it is important that you trust that your partner is telling you the truth. Of course, there are going to be white lies and moments when your partner isn’t entirely honest with you. There might even be moments when you’d prefer they don’t say what they’re really thinking! But if you don’t feel like you can believe anything your partner says, it is not possible to build a stable and long-lasting partnership.

Safety

In a loving and supportive relationship, you should feel consistently safe and secure. This can be everything from physical safety (knowing your partner is not going to hurt you or commit any physical violence) to emotional safety (knowing your partner is not going to bully, belittle or intimidate you). Everyone deserves to feel safe when they come home, and you need to be able to create a safe environment with your partner.

Emotional Support

Everyone is going to have difficult days, challenging life events, and moments when they need more emotional support. Often when we are in these low moods, we can feel like we are “not much fun” or not good to be around. But trusting your partner means knowing that, even when we aren’t at our best, they will be there to love and support us. If you don’t feel that your partner can offer the emotional support and safe space you need during hard times, it can be harder to enjoy the positive times in your relationship.

Financial Security

When you build a life with someone and combine or share financial resources, it is vital that you trust your partner to be responsible and fair in how they use them. Some couples may have significantly different values and priorities when it comes to money, so honest conversations are needed to decide how joint finances are going to be spent. If you worry that your partner is going to waste all your money or leave you in a precarious position, it will have a negative impact on your relationship.

Fidelity

In most romantic relationships, fidelity is a key area of trust. It means committing to one person and being sexually exclusive. While some couples explore relationships and encounters outside their monogamous one, this always has to be done in an open and honest way. In couples where an affair has taken place, it can be very difficult to overcome and rebuild trust.

How You can Rebuild Trust when it has Been Broken

If you or your partner has broken trust in one or more of the ways listed above, it can feel impossible initially to see yourselves trusting completely again. But it is possible to work together towards rebuilding trust. Some ways you can begin this process include:

  • Taking responsibility – acknowledge what you did wrong and show that you are remorseful by apologising often and sincerely
  • Make a commitment – agree that you want your relationship to work and commit to the healing process together
  • Acknowledge and apologise for the trauma trigger the hurt partner experiences multiple times per day
  • Appreciate those areas of your relationship that are still working ok, be kind and respectful to each other
  • Be open and honest – don’t try to hide any details of the betrayal of trust, even if talking about it is difficult (there is some information that is recommended not to share, specifically explicit details about any sexual activity that happened when sexual infidelity has occurred)
  • Be congruent – make sure you are doing what you said you would do
  • Work with an experienced couples counsellor who specialises in infidelity – couples therapy can provide a safe space to work through your issues in a constructive way.

What Is Emotional Infidelity?

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two women in kitchen

How do you define emotional infidelity? For some, it may be the trail of flirtatious comments left on another person’s social media page, or it could be those afterhours drinks with a person your partner perceives as a threat.

Infidelity doesn’t have to be physical to have a major impact on you and your relationship.

Emotional infidelity involves a nonsexual relationship with someone who isn’t your partner. Without this being the intention, it can break trust or violate the love and respect that you have for your partner.

In this time of texting, swiping and instant communication, it has never been easier to cross the line and become emotionally connected to someone outside of your primary relationship.

There are some indicators when this is happening and some helpful tips to help get your relationship back on track.

Protecting Your Relationship: Identifying High-Risk External Relationships

If you and your partner are in a (monogamous relationship){ to the conventional idea of a monogamous relationship,} the impacts of infidelity on it can be significant if nothing is done to start you both talking about what is happening

It is important for both people in the relationship to recognise there can be “high risk” external friendships and to both agree on protecting their relationship by recognising these potentially harmful friendships.

  • My partner is “just friends” with several single people of the gender she/he is attracted to . This may be a sign that your partner values one-on-one connections, however protecting your relationship means making single friends of the gender you are attracted to, friends of the both of you.
  • My partner keeps talking about “this person” at work. This could be the sign of a close or important work colleague. However, it could also be a high-risk friendship. Talk to your partner about the person, what you talk about, frequency of your conversations etc. Again to protect your relationship, this friendship can become one of the couples OR the friendship is restricted to work only with reduced 1 to 1 contact and sticks to work related topics.
  • My partner is spending more time with “your sibling”. As above, talk to your partner about your concerns, and both work towards protecting your relationship.

Sometimes it is healthy to have relationships at work or with each other’s siblings. Importantly if you notice changes in your partner’s behaviour, it could be the cause for alarm.

Rebuilding Trust After Emotional Infidelity

Infidelity in a relationship can cause an implosion, both partners are affected in different ways and the high risk friendship can suddenly ended. At Perth Counselling and Psychotherapy, we know rebuilding trust in a relationship with out good professional help is very difficult.

There are different phases to couples therapy when there has been any type of infideility that has resulted in a relationship rupture and lack of trust.

It is important to give the relationship the attention and time it requires to repair the rupture and rebuild a stronger relationship or to separate respectfully.

Get Professional Help

The Perth Counselling & Psychotherapy team is here to listen to your concerns about emotional infidelity in your relationship.

Deborah is experienced inworking in this area and is ready to help you work through this difficult time.

We also offer couples counselling and therapy after infidelity, which helps to place trust back into your relationship.

If you are seeking help, contact us today.

5 Key Steps in Conflict Resolution

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couple sitting on the couch talking

Conflict resolution is a key challenge for many couples, but knowing how to de-escalate and manage conflict in relationships is an important skill. Repairing a rupture after an argument means acknowledging differences and working together to find solutions.

Often, our emotions can get in the way of good communication. When this happens, it can be difficult to focus on the source of tension and find a way to move past it; it can often feel more important to “win” the argument. But staying calm is a key part of resolving conflict in a respectful and constructive way.

When you need to manage conflict with your partner, try these five steps to conflict resolution in relationships.

1. Identify the source of the conflict

Sometimes, couples can find themselves in an argument that appears to be about one thing, but the true conflict is about something else entirely. For example, you might be disagreeing about what you’re having for dinner, but the actual problem is that one person feels they are always making day to day decisions and their partner doesn’t take on any of this mental load. Drilling down to what the real problem is will help for conflict resolution for couples.

2. Actively listen to your partner

Miscommunication and poor communication are a key issue in conflict. When we are emotionally invested in an argument, it can be hard to articulate ourselves well and to really hear what the other person is saying. But slowing down and actively listening will help prevent disagreements from growing into deeper conflicts. Paraphrasing what your partner is saying shows that you have listened and understood them, and it allows them to rephrase if needed.

3. Find common ground

Usually, in relationship conflict, there will be some common ground where you can find agreement or compromise. Focusing on this, instead of your points of difference, can help to prevent the disagreement from escalating. For example, you might be disagreeing about where to send your child to school, but you can both agree that your priority is getting the best education possible.

4. Don’t focus on being right

Even when you feel like you are in the right, keep in mind that the other person probably feels the same way. The conflict will not be resolved if both of you are focused solely on winning the argument, rather than finding an outcome that is satisfactory for both of you. Ask yourself how you can work together to find a compromise or a resolution. If you know you have hurt your partner’s feelings, acknowledge this and apologise for doing so.

5. Keep the conflict between you

It is normal to want to vent to someone else when you are frustrated or upset from an argument. But try to avoid bringing other people into disagreements that you have with your partner. Additional people can escalate arguments, and can cause your partner to feel that they are being treated unfairly.

An experienced counsellor can help you with managing conflict in your marriage or relationship. They are an objective party who can provide a sounding board and specialised advice, without taking sides or getting directly involved.

If you feel like you could benefit from marriage counselling in Perth, or you want to find out more, please contact us for a discussion.

Understanding the Fight or Flight Response

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couple fighting

The fight or flight response is a natural physiological reaction to stressful situations. It helps humans to respond quickly to threats, however when triggered by normal daily stressors, it can cause long term problems for both physical and mental health.

What is the Fight or Flight Response?

The fight or flight response, also known as the stress response, is a survival mechanism that humans evolved to react quickly to life threatening situations. It is an instantaneous series of physiological responses that help a person deal with a threat, either by fighting it off, or fleeing to safety.

The idea of the fight or flight response was first put forward in 1915 by American physiologist Walter Bradford Cannon in the book Bodily Changes in Pain, Hunger, Fear And Rage. He observed the response in animals when threatened, which was to release the hormone adrenaline and go through a series of changes in the body which resulted in additional oxygen being delivered to the muscles, allowing the animal to have more energy for fighting off the predator or running away.

Since then, other researchers have refined our understanding of this natural response and studied the psychological responses in humans that coincide with these physiological changes.

What is the Freeze and Fawn Response?

In more recent years, psychologists have agreed that a third response that humans use to protect themselves is to freeze. This is also called attentive immobility, or reactive immobility. It causes people to stay completely still as the body takes in information and prepares for the next move. Typically, this freeze response is followed by either a fight or flight response, but it can happen independently. Dr Stephen Porges, describes shutdown in Polyvagal Theory, this can happen when the autonomic nervous system is activated.

Physiological Reaction

When the fight, flight or freeze response is activated, it causes a cascade of hormonal changes in the body that produce physiological responses. The sympathetic nervous system is activated, and several body systems are affected.

  • The heart rate increases, resulting in increased blood flow and more oxygen to the heart and muscles
  • Dilation of bronchi in the lungs leads to an increased respiration rate
  • The liver converts glycogen to glucose more rapidly
  • Blood flow is diverted from non-essential parts of the body, making the skin appear paler
  • Pupils dilate, allowing in more light for improved visual ability.

In addition, the brain can allow a person under threat to focus their attention more keenly on the source of the threat and avenues for escape.

When to Seek Help

The fight, flight, or freeze response is a natural and important part of human evolution which allows us to survive in threatening situations. However, in the modern world, this response can sometimes be activated by stressors which are not life-threatening. Stressful situations such as work pressure, running late, or a fight with a partner can all trigger this cascade of physiological responses.

In the long term, repeated activation of the stress response causes problems such as high blood pressure and problems sleeping. It can also contribute to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

If you recognise that your body is regularly responding to situations with some of the physiological changes listed above, it is a good idea to speak with an experienced psychotherapist who can assist you to find ways to more accurately perceive levels of threat to avoid ongoing anxiety and to more effectively manage hypervigilance and your stress response.

Deborah

Psychotherapist vs Psychologist: Understanding the Difference

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psychologist

Wondering about the difference between a psychotherapist and a psychologist?

Both psychotherapy and psychology are focused on talking with patients to improve mental health and work through problems. While there are some similarities between these mental health professionals, there are also some key differences.

If you are seeking help with issues such as depression or anxiety, it’s important to understand these difference so that you can make an informed decision on the type of help most suited to your situation.

What is a Psychotherapist?

A psychotherapist is a mental health professional working in the field of psychotherapy. They have specialist training, usually with an undergraduate degree in healthcare and three to four years of training in psychotherapy specifically.

Psychotherapy is focused on helping people to understand aspects of themselves. When you work with a psychotherapist, they will assist you to explore your past experiences and the ways that these have shaped you into the person you are today. Psychotherapy is an evidence-based way of working, that draws on interpersonal and relational models of working with people. It can be useful to people in all walks of life.

Psychotherapists do not utilise medications to assist patients. Rather, psychotherapy approaches are “talking therapies”, which focus on fostering trust and understanding between the practitioner and the client and working through issues using different methods.

Some common approaches used by psychotherapists include:

What is a Psychologist?

Psychology is a broad area that is concerned with the mind and the ways that people think and act. Many people will study psychology but not go on to work directly with patients in a clinical setting. Psychology focuses on the functioning of the mind and understanding things like how children’s minds develop, how we learn and remember, and how we react and interact.

Psychologists are not medically qualified; it is possible to study psychology directly out of school. Most psychologists who work with patients in the mental health space have completed additional training.

Psychologists can specialise in a variety of areas, including clinical psychology, counselling, and health psychology. They often work in schools, aged care settings, rehabilitation programs, and other areas.

The Difference Between a Psychologist and Psychotherapist

There are some similarities between psychotherapists and psychologists, but there are also key differences between the two specialisations.

Both psychotherapists and psychologists perform talk therapy, focusing on understanding clients by talking through issues and experiences. People who are experiencing mental health disorders including anxiety and depression can benefit from working with both psychotherapy and psychology professionals.

An important distinction between psychotherapists and psychologists is that psychotherapists are medically qualified, with an undergraduate degree in a health-related area. Psychologists do not require this background to practice psychology. Often a psychotherapist will have studied psychology before moving on to specialise in psychotherapy.

It is also worth noting that both psychotherapists and psychologists are different to psychiatrists. Psychiatrists are medically-trained and hold a doctorate degree in medicine. This means they are able to prescribe medication to assist with managing mental illnesses.

The Autonomic Nervous System (Sympathetic and Parasympathetic)

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woman with face in her hands

Your autonomic nervous system plays a crucial role in keeping your body moving. It is the reason we automatically carry out vital functions such as breathing and digestion, it keeps our heart beating and carries out various other operations that we may not even notice. The autonomic nervous system is further divided into two branches: the sympathetic and parasympathetic. Each branch denotes different involuntary behaviours involved with the fight or flight response.

Our fight or flight response is triggered when we are faced with an event that is stressful, frightening or dangerous. It is an immediate physiological reaction that involves many parts of your body with the intention of readying you to either fight the threat or flee from it. The response was an essential tool for survival for our ancestors, back when they needed to navigate the wild. In modern times, the need to fight or flee a situation is less common, but the ancient physiological instinct still remains and can be triggered during stressful life events, even if there is no actual physical threat present.

Sympathetic Nervous System

The sympathetic nervous system is the system that is triggered when you are faced with a perceived threat. For example, if you suddenly hear a loud, unexpected noise you may ‘jump’ in response. This is your sympathetic nervous system being triggered.

In order to best help you in a threatening situation, your sympathetic nervous system will slow down the less essential autonomous bodily functions – such as digestion – in favour of the functions needed to fight away a threat – such as an increase in heart rate.

The following symptoms are experienced during an acute sympathetic nervous system response:

  • Pupils dilate
  • Salivation is inhibited
  • Heart rate increases
  • Bronchi dilates
  • Digestion is inhibited
  • Contraction of bladder is inhibited
  • Increased sweating

These symptoms are exhibited when you experience anxiety. In fact, anxiety is simply your sympathetic nervous system being triggered. At times this can be a helpful response, but at other times the experience is highly unpleasant and overwhelming. When a sympathetic nervous system response continues to occur despite no threat being present this can be considered an anxiety disorder.

Parasympathetic Nervous System

The other key part of the autonomic nervous system, our parasympathetic nervous system acts in direct response to the triggering of the sympathetic response. Once the perceived threat has passed, your parasympathetic system steps in to help return your body to its normal, resting state. Without it, your body would stay locked in that heightened place, unable to calm down.

The symptoms associated with the parasympathetic nervous system are:

  • Pupils constrict
  • Salivation is stimulated
  • Heart rate slows
  • Bronchi constricts
  • Digestion is stimulated
  • Bladder contracts
  • Sweating decreases

The parasympathetic nervous system works to restore balance within your body. When the parasympathetic nervous system is unable to effectively regulate the body’s functions, this can result in disorders such as chronic stress and anxiety disorders. When both the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems cannot work in tandem with one another to response appropriately to life’s events, the autonomic nervous system is thrown out of balance and can cause long term problems.

What Is Emotional Regulation?

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woman

We all feel and experience emotions. From the moment we wake up, to our daily routine, and settling down at night—we deal with a range of positive and negative thoughts and feelings across our day.

But have you ever stopped to consider why you may be feeling certain emotions?

Emotional regulation can be defined by how we are able to manage and respond to our feelings and thoughts.

For example, we may feel accomplished and proud of ourselves after a run, or sad when our football team loses at the weekend.

There are a range of positive and negative techniques for behavioural regulation, which will help you understand these thoughts and better respond to them.

Emotional Awareness and Self-Regulation

We all tend to use emotional self-regulation across our day. Many of us have the emotional awareness and intelligence to adapt to the demands of our environments.

While some of these responses are healthy, others may not be. In fact, poor emotional regulation can lead to a series of negative consequences:

  • alcohol or drug abuse
  • self-injury or harm
  • avoiding or keeping away from some demanding situations
  • physically or verbally aggressive behaviour
  • exclusion of some activities in favour for others.

On the flipside, self-regulation with a positive mindset can lead to a renewed focus and opportunities.

Some of these emotional regulation outcomes include:

  • exercise
  • talking with acquaintances
  • therapy
  • meditation
  • sleeping well
  • writing thoughts down.

It is crucial that we understand our emotional triggers and when to act on them. This comes down to emotional regulation and managing our emotions in a positive way.

For example, you may have experienced a bad day at work. Instead of coming home and drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, you could meditate or write in your journal.

This comes down to you picking and influencing your emotions; including when they arrive, and how they dominate your thinking.

This type of behavioural regulation will ensure that you have a positive experience with your emotions, and rebound from the perils of life in a successful way.

Can I Take Control of My Emotions?

It may seem like a challenging task but taking control of your emotions in a positive way can alter your way of life.

Emotional intelligence can quickly stamp out any intense feelings of negativity. Through this, you can learn to accept bad thoughts or experiences, let them pass, and learn from them.

Importantly, a good emotional regulation meaning allows us to characterise our emotions in a constructive way. This means that instead of defining or thoughts as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, we treat every circumstance as a learning experience.

Seek Help

The Perth Counselling & Psychotherapy team is well versed with positive mindset techniques. We also know and understand the perils of daily life and can help you manage your emotions when they become overwhelming.

Our team of professionals can also help you to build and maintain a healthy routine that deals with poor emotional regulation.

If you are seeking a better understanding of your emotional intelligence, contact us today.

How to Manage Anxiety

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Happy young woman holding cup with tea in be

Do you need some ideas on how to manage anxiety?

We often talk about being anxious about something, and it is true that we face a lot of stress and worry in our lives. However, anxiety can become more than an occasional, manageable part of life for some people.

Here are some ways to tell if your anxiety may be a problem, as well as some ideas on how to manage anxiety.

What is Anxiety?

If you are anxious for a specific reason, this can make perfect sense. The anxiety is there to help you to an extent. Anxiety is a state of awareness that something may be threatening you, and so the body gets ready for ‘fight or flight’ in order to keep you safe.

You may feel your heart pounding, sound rushing in your ears, your face becoming flushed as blood runs through your body, or your muscles becoming tense. If you are anxious about a job interview or an important exam, the body becomes extra alert to let you know that you need to prepare.

Anxiety becomes a problem when it has little or no reasonable cause, or it happens constantly. The physical feelings of anxiety come on and the sufferer can feel an ongoing sense of worry, fear, and dread, when they don’t know why.

This kind of anxiety can interfere with everyday life, causing people to avoid certain situations, interacting with people, and even leaving the house. People with chronic anxiety often use alcohol or drugs to calm their fears and quieten their constant worrying minds.

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, you may need some ideas on how to manage anxiety.

Around 18% of adults suffer from some kind of anxiety disorder, although only around a third of them will seek treatment to help. Often people living with anxiety will develop depression as well.

Simple Ways to Help Manage Anxiety

Chatting to a counsellor about your anxiety is one of the very best ways to help manage it. You may have underlying reasons for your anxiety which need to be addressed to help you face the anxiety itself.

Anxiety can come on when we aren’t looking after ourselves, so maintaining a general level of good health will always help. Get eight hours of sleep every night, exercise for 30 minutes, five times a week and get some fresh air and sunshine every day. Reduce sugar, alcohol, and caffeine and try to eat lots of fruit and vegetables, whole grains and healthy sources of fat.

Some supplements may help including wild fish oil, magnesium and vitamin B complex – all of which have been shown to reduce anxiety and improve mood.

Relaxation techniques and alternative therapies are incredibly helpful for many people, including meditation, yoga, acupuncture and tai chi.

Mindfulness is an easy practice that you can add to every day which helps you to focus your mind and not get caught up in the physical and emotional stresses of anxiety. There are some excellent apps for daily mindfulness that make it simple to introduce into your daily routine, such as Smiling Mind, Aura or Calm.

You can also try something like journalling or mindful colouring to help focus your mind.

Resources
https://adaa.org/about-adaa/press-room/facts-statistics

How to Talk to Your Child About COVID-19

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Mother and Child

“Now is the time to stay close to our children. They need to feel us beside them so they don’t feel as worried as they are.
We need to be honest with them and let them know that good people from around the world are working very hard to keep them safe and healthy.
Our children will believe us, we love them deeply.”

Australian Childhood Foundation article: “Staying Connected with our Children”

The situation we find ourselves in at the moment triggers a range of emotions and concerns for us all. As adults, we have multiple concerns and a range of emotions moving through us, and we may be struggling to find adequate words to express ourselves.
Our children bear witness to our confusion or worries and are exposed to most of the same ‘flood’ of information that surrounds us. They will be experiencing their own confusion, anxiety and wordlessness.

Play and movement-based activities are helpful ways for children to ‘ventilate’ and regulate strong emotions. It is also helpful for children to have quiet time to connect with you without having to talk or be ‘busy’—opportunities to be still.

Children need to know what is going on and why their lives have changed so much; why they can’t see their friends, why school has stopped, why library visits and playgroup is no longer happening, why sleepovers and visits to grandparents are not happening.

At this time it is important to give children information that is age appropriate. What you talk about with a teenager will be very different to what you tell a 10 year old and different again for a four year old.
There are some resources that may support these discussions:
Australian Childhood Foundation resources for families about COVID-19: https://www.childhood.org.au/covid-19/
There are a selection of stories and resources for parents and carers supporting children to understand about COVID-19 as they work through social isolation.

Regardless of your childrens’ ages you need to stay connected.

The Australian Childhood Foundation have put together these simple suggestions to help you talk about the virus in a way that is truthful and loving.

  • Be honest with your children about what is happening. Let them know that things like this have happened before, and they have ended.
  • Remind children you love them and your love will never change. Validate their feelings and reassure them you have the same sorts of feelings too. Tell them it’s ok to be worried or scared, or to feel whatever emotions they’re experiencing. Tell them they can share these emotions with you. Acknowledge the disruptions and change in activities. Let them know these activities will start again when the virus has gone. Work together on how you can do these sorts of activities at home together.
  • Have fun and play together and have quiet time together too.

I am offering support to parents and carers through online or telephone consultations, throughout this period. If you would like to ‘check-in’ or make a time to talk with me about ways to support your children (or yourself), please do not hesitate to contact me. Reduced fees may apply.

Contact us by clicking here.

References:

Australian Childhood Foundation article: “Staying Connected with our Children”

Helpful Resources.

  • Online book by Theresa Fraser (attached) and also available for download here: https://www.maritimeplaytherapycentre.com/blog
    This book is brief and helpful for explaining to children that we are all working together to help people by staying home.
  • Australian Childhood Foundation’s ‘Bringing Up Great Kids’ page: http://www.bringingupgreatkids.org/en/

For other excellent parenting resources, including videos and reading materials about ‘connected parenting.’

  • Kinderling Radio: https://www.kinderling.com.au/
    Music and stories to share with younger children. Older children love them too!
  • Generation Mindful: https://genmindful.com/products/time-in-toolkit
  • Time in Toolkit. Helping children learn about their emotions in a positive and supportive way.

Parenting Support Resources

  • The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did). Penguin Life Random House UL. 2019. Philippa Perry.
    A simple and relatively short read to help parents differentiate their feelings so they are better able to help their children. Practical and relevant for any parent.